04 May, 2013

(Re)learning to go with the flow

I am feeling so blessed as I sit here thinking about the day we had.  From the outside it probably didn't look like much.  Most of my day was spent on my living room couch, cuddling anyone who wanted to cuddle in between breaking up arguments as well as diving into the musings of a 6, 4, and 2 year old.  We read a couple books, watched some movies, had way too many snacks, and even played in the rain.  We generally lead a spontaneous, relaxing schedule but today, today was the it was the epitome of a true lazy Saturday.  Brandon had to work later than usual so around dinner time, the whining was starting to pick up, fights were getting a little more dramatic, and well, I needed to get out of my pajamas!  We all got bathed and dressed and decided to see a spur of the moment movie in the theater, something we RARELY get to do.  The kids were all really excited!!!  They all did awesome through the whole movie and we thought it was really funny and well done.

As we were walking out to the van, Analee noticed the park behind the theater.  Side track for just a moment...I get in a funk in the winter months.  We don't leave the house very often and my efforts to say YES more than I say no are really dampened when I'm in that funk.  Every.single.spring, as the sun begins shining and we get more and more fresh air, I have to sort of reteach myself to be spontaneous and energetic and to say yes.  Back to the park.  She saw it and kind of just gasped in excitement!  And when I said "Wanna go?" they all just stared at me in disbelief.  LOL  We jumped back out of the van and all RAN as fast as we could to the park.  It felt SO GOOD to say yes and just go.  It felt so good to watch them run ragged, to see Analee helping Charlie every time he got stuck somewhere, Brian leading Charlie by the hand.  I love that the game they chose to play, when the kids around them were playing tag, was "mom and dad".  I love how Analee and Brian held hands nearly the entire time and kept running up to their "baby" Charlie to love and kiss on him.  I love that they are best friends.

I found myself whispering in my head, "Don't grow up, don't ever stop loving each other unconditionally or lose your innocence.  Don't grow up!!"  I was smiling as I watched their carefree play but on the inside I felt a twinge of sadness as I know this stage in our family's life will be over before I know it.  Even though Charlie is only 2, gone are the days of babyhood, diapers, nursing around the clock, diaper bags, strollers, baby playgroups.  Now we're running, biking, climbing, all-day-adventuring, learning, reading!  All WONDERFUL and awesome and lovely things but to think of how fast the baby years came and went...wow.

My heart is so so so full of joy.  I am so blessed to be called mom by these 3 amazing people, to spend all of my time loving, teaching, guiding, training, raising, shepherding.  I can't imagine life any other way. 

 "Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for."